Väljavõtteid Jõuluvana kirjavahetusest:...
Väljavõtteid Jõuluvana kirjavahetusest:
Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer
Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend,
Billy
Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to
a career packing freezers at BiLo. How about I
send you a f**king book so you can learn to read
and write? I'm giving your older brother the
space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa
*
Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but
for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to
get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy
*
Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the
babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do
you think he's gonna give that up to come back to
your frigid mum, who nags his ass constantly?
It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you
some nice Lego instead. Santa
*
Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a
train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony
and a guitar. Love, Francis
*
Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis"
nowadays? I bet you're gay, you greedy little
fuck. Santa
*
Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under
the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer.
Love, Susan
*
Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs and carrots
make the deer fart in my face when riding in the
sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a
bottle of scotch. Santa
*
Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of
the year? Are you busy making toys? Your
friend, Thomas
*
Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I
have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my
time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by
drinking myself paraletic and squeezing the arses
of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the
craps table. And I'm not your friend. Santa
*
Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do
you really know when we're awake,like in the
song? Love, Jessica
*
Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Get
out of the sheltered workshop and wake up to
yourself. Good luck in whatever you do. I'm
skipping your house. Santa
*
Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this
year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I
have one? Timmy
*
Dear Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work
with your parents, but that crap doesn't work
with me. You're getting socks again. Santa
*
Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our
house, so how do you get into our home? Love,
Marky
*
Mark, Firstly, stop calling yourself "Marky",
that's why you're getting your arse kicked at
school. Second, you don't live in a house, you
live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I
get inside your pad just like all the burglars
do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams,
Santa